In the afternoon we went with Martina for an ice cream, my second walk outside. Hurrah! On the way we went into the local Post Office to send pictures of me all round Europe; Mum and I only stayed for two seconds because it was roasting, but that was long enough for the two women working there to be taken under my spell, one of whom didn’t even lay eyes on me!

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One of Mum’s best friends, my godmother Martina, came to visit at lunchtime. She’s staying till Friday: I think it’s very good to be able to make so many friends so early in my life!

Jutta came for the next check-up: all is fine, and she’ll be back on Friday to give me another bath. She said that I had very good muscle tone, and that I can make movements with my head that many other babies can’t as well as turning from my back onto my stomach via my side. I’m such a fast developer!

I might also be a film star soon, at least in a manner of speaking: Jutta asked if I could star in a short video which she wants to put on her website. As a thoroughly modern midwife, she likes to advertise her services online, and what better way to do so than by showing a model pupil of hers, as it were, to those surfing the web? It could be an interesting thing to do: let’s see what comes of it.

Pippa and Mickel came to visit in the afternoon: they stayed a bit longer than they did last Sunday, and I got another kiss from Mika. We had a very good time, and I enjoyed being the centre of attention: I could definitely get used to it!

For dinner we had Martina’s famous meatballs: Dad even helped with the preparation, and I ate at the table again, because I feel left out if don’t eat when the grown-ups do!

Today we had the last of the crazy weather for a while, hopefully: there have been lots of thunderstorms recently, and heavy rain has fallen very often in the last few days, but tomorrow will be sunny, which means it’s ice cream time.

Slept from 10 to 4, then a quick feed and slept through till 8: if the concept of beauty sleep really is true, then I must be very beautiful indeed!

Had an appointment with my new baby specialist osteopath today. She said that I was in excellent condition for a baby who’d had my kind of arrival into the world: it seems I’m really doing well on many levels in my first couple of weeks on the planet…if you missed the subtle implications contained in my initial description, allow me to elucidate somewhat: I had to fight a fair bit to enter the outside world as the cord thing was wrapped twice around my neck, leading to a necessarily swift exit after a long time…

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This time I didn’t quite manage to sleep through: I got Mum up at 2 for a feed, and then slept till 6.30. Jutta came to see me again, and then it was time for another big event in my life: my first bath, which of course I had in the…kitchen! It was the only place where a surface of sufficient height could be found, but I didn’t mind that at all, because I enjoyed myself. Soon I’ll be able to have baths with Dad, but till then I’ll be happy to get clean in my own little bathtub.

Lotte and Hannes (and of course Anton!) left around midday, after a lovely four days. I’ll miss having such a lot of attention, but it will be good to have some time just with Mum and Dad. I think Anton will miss me a lot though; throughout his time here he spent a lot of time checking on my wellbeing. Findus, on the other hand, is taking a little more time to get used to me, but today he came onto the bed and sniffed me of his own accord. I think he likes me, but he’s just taking his time to really get to know me. Fair enough: I can’t have a magical effect all the time!

In the afternoon we had our first walk outside as a family. We only went to the local kindergarten to drop off the application form, and then back home (stopping to get a few baby supplies on the way), but that was more than enough for Mum. She needs to keep as much strength as she can to feed me after, all!

Findus left at seven in the evening for his usual three days with Chris, and will be back on Monday night.

Another peaceful day after feeding big yesterday: we slept through again till five or so. After a short feed we slept a while longer. Jutta came round at 9.30am, and said Mum was doing just fine. She was happy to see that the rest of my umbilical cord had fallen off, and to hear that I’ve been sleeping well at night…

Then Lotte and Hannes went to a museum, and Pippa, her boy, Michael, and his Dad came round, which marked the first time our two whole families have been together. They brought a “cake” made of nappies, which was very funny. You can certainly never have enough nappies, as Mum and Dad have been finding out! Michael was also much more interested in me this time; he stroked my head many times and then even kissed me on the mouth. They spent over an hour with us.

…which reminds me…bodily functions. There’s no pleasant way to put this, so I’ll just say it…they’re messy and confusing! Sometimes I’ll just be lying there, minding my own business, and my body will convulse lightly, as if I’m erupting from the inside, forcing pressure upwards. It goes on for a few minutes and then, as quickly as it started, it goes again. Dad says they’re called hiccups, and when they come he says “Hacup!” in a slightly childish way every time one happens, probably to try to make me feel better about it (I don’t really mind them though, but it’s just weird that they have to happen at all), and then Mum normally says something like “Martin, that’s not how she sounds, it’s more like”…and here she does a high-pitched noise that’s hard to reproduce in written form, but might be written something like “Heek!” After that they usually argue a little bit about whose imitation is more accurate, before carrying on with the next job they have to do: between you and me, dear diary, I think my parents might be a little bit strange!

On an unpleasant note, I must record that I’ve been experiencing a little bit of trouble with, how to put it delicately…number twos. I don’t find it so easy to do them in my nappy, and it sometimes makes me feel uncomfortable if I do. The solution I’ve found is to do a little bit, to make Mum and Dad realise they have to change my nappy, and then let the rest come when my (not so) private parts are exposed to the open air. The most notable example of this so far came today, when Dad was on nappy changing duty for once. (Recently it’s mainly been Mum that’s changed me, a combination of timing and Dad’s lack of ability compared to Mum in that department.)

There was the usual little bit to be found in the nappy when Dad took it off, and Mum had just gone to the toilet herself. I took this as my chance to test Dad’s abilities to the full. Maybe it was because he was holding my legs a little bit higher than usual, maybe I was feeling a bit more relaxed, or maybe the pressure had built up somewhat more than usual; I’m not really sure. What I do know is that the distance, angle and speed I achieved were considerable, and I almost cleared the edge of the nappy and reached the floor, which surprised Dad to say the least. To his credit, he managed to catch the ensuing deluge with only minimal damage to the surrounding area; if projectile pooing were an Olympic event, I could certainly represent England… or maybe Germany?

When I decided to feed just before Mum was due to have dinner, she decided to take me with her to the table…so I had my dinner at the dinner table for the first time today, albeit not the same meal as everyone else. Progress!

Talking of which, I’ve made one improvement Mum’s very happy with recently: I don’t bite the breast that feeds me any longer. It was just a phase I was going through, it seems, and I’ve just gone off the whole idea.

After dinner I had my first Skype call with Auntie Sophie, Dad’s sister. She was very happy to lay eyes on me at last, and said I was amazing! High praise, but all I’ve really achieved at the moment is being born: I hope to do lots of things to make my family proud later in life!

…I’m one week old! And taking it as easy as I can…

Mum is, naturally, taking constant care of me, and the other three are supporting her in any way they can. They all went shopping today, and then Dad got some more baby things from over the road. I must say it’s good that there’s a chemist and a baby supply shop just a stone’s throw away.

Grandpa put up a new light in the dining room. Granny cooked a dinner in the evening, and I was able to accompany Mum at the table as she enjoyed her steak.

At 3pm, Chris (Mum’s ex-husband) came round with cakes for us, and brought Findus with him to spend a couple of days. He and Mum originally got Findus together, and now he divides his time between both households. The afternoon was nice and quiet, and the plan was that I would join the grown-ups as they chatted and enjoyed the cakes, but I was much too hungry to allow Mum to take part, so we just stayed in our bedroom for most of the time while the other four ate and talked: it was indeed a quiet day at home…

Woke up refreshed, having slept through, and I was very excited because I was going out for the first time: Mum had an appointment with the osteopath, and then I had my first appointment with the paediatrician, to check the mark on my head and just give me the once-over…

However, I was so excited that I decided to feed ten minutes before the taxi came: thus Mum and I were late coming downstairs, so Dad waited with the driver for a while. One minute before we came down, another car came into our road, which is a one-way street, so the driver had to drive round the block. Granny Lotte came down with Mum in the lift in her nightdress, and hoped none of the neighbours came along at the wrong time! Happily for her, they didn’t. After that, she and Grandpa went shopping in town, because we had important appointments to keep which didn’t involve them…

At the osteopath, who is actually based in the same house where Mum was living when she first met Dad, I waited happily while Mum had the appointment, and slept in Dad’s arms most of the time. Mum said it had helped when she came out 45 minutes later, which I was happy about. She’s experienced more than enough physical discomfort for this year!

The main reason to see the paediatrician was to check out the mark on my head left when the doctors helped me out on Wednesday, and thankfully the doctor said there was no reason to worry, and that it would soon go. He also weighed me, and Mum and Dad were pleased to see that I’d put on nearly half a pound. All that feeding I’m doing is finally having some effect!

Mum and I were exhausted, and I was very hungry, so I managed to persuade Mum to feed me in the taxi: the taxi driver didn’t mind, but Mum had to make sure she covered her modesty with a towel while she walked the short distance from the taxi to our front door.

At 2pm, Dad had an appointment at the hospital to collect the photos which were taken on Monday before we left: he came back with all sorts of things, including stickers, cards, a CD and even a beautifully presented hardback book with various pictures of me, a few of which also included Mum or Dad, or both of them. It’ll be great to look at that in a few years and remember just how cute I was when I was just two days old. Talking of photos, I also found time today to pose for a couple of photos with Lotte and Hannes in front of the balcony door: I look forward to seeing them.

In the evening, we Skyped with Granddad Mervyn again: he was pleased to see me again, although I wasn’t there for long because of my prodigious feeding sessions. It really is a full-time job for Mum to keep me sated, and the chaps were talking for a while before we put in an appearance: still, my needs come first at the moment! It’s only a couple of days till we call again, when I’ll also be seen for the first time by Auntie Sophie, Dad’s sister. She’s been away for a while, but she’s looking forward to seeing me according to Granddad Mervyn.

Was so shattered from the day that I cried a lot before bed, but Mum, with the patience of a saint as usual, calmed me down, and I slept from 12 till 5… which means…

After I had fed at 3am, Mum woke Dad at 4 to ask him to take a spider away from the corner of the room: it was getting a little too close to my bed for comfort, and she didn’t want to take any chances. Dad looked like he was still asleep as he half-sleepwalked to the spider’s hideout, but seconds later it found itself unceremoniously dumped out of the window. I’m beginning to learn this can be a tough old world, and it seems to matter who’s on your side in any particular situation. Still, in this case, it was Lovett Family 1-0 Spider, so that’s the end of that.

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Today began with Findus The Dog coming for a few hours to get to know me a bit better. He sniffed a bag with one of my old nappies in it, and seemed to understand straight away that there was a new member of the gang. He was a little bit quiet, but I’m sure we’ll have a lot of fun when we get to know each other better.

For most of the day I slept, and slept, and slept. I used up a lot of energy in my first few days, so I need to get as much rest as I can, not to mention take on as much nourishment as I can, and I’m certainly doing that!

Jutta came round again and freed me from the plastic clip that was put around the rest of the umbilical cord (the rest will come off soon); she gave Mum and Dad some powder to put on it to speed up the process. She also examined my head where the doctors had helped me out on Saturday, and said we should make an appointment with the paediatrician to have it checked out, so Mum immediately made one for tomorrow: she certainly doesn’t waste any time!

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My first full day at home! I’m pleased to report that the night was quite peaceful, and apart from waking up twice to feed, we all slept through.

Jutta (the super midwife) came to check on us while I was having lunch, and gave Mum some tips on recovering after all her efforts over the last few days, weeks, and even months. Of course, after all that, she still has much to do these days, because I’m a very hungry little girl! Needless to say, I appreciate it immensely.

One of the hospital photos is now online; Mum and Dad have told their closest friends where they can see it. It seems to have made an impact on many of them, at least if the comments under the picture are anything to go by!

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